


I Want It, Real Love

by CanITouchYourHeart



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Confessions, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Insecure Oikawa Tooru, Light Angst, M/M, Protective Iwaizumi Hajime, Sexual Assault, also I swear a lot, but it kinda got away from me, excessive use of "iwa-chan" and "tooru", he's okay though!, i don't know how to tag, i guess?, i hope they're not too ooc, like he doubts himself a lot, the guy's a little handsy but nothing too graphic happens, this was based on a prompt and was supposed to be short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-04-07 08:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14076717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanITouchYourHeart/pseuds/CanITouchYourHeart
Summary: “Are you okay? Tooru, are you hurt?”“I… I don’t know…” he whispered, unable to bring his voice to anything stronger as he buried his face in his free hand.“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know?!”More shuffling.“Where are you?”“The b-bar down the street from the universit-ty,” he stammered out. “Iwaizumi, please…”“Stay exactly where you are. I’m coming to get you.”Or: It's Iwaizumi to the rescue and Oikawa's emotional state prompts a confession to his best friend. (Now with both of their perspectives - yeah I literally wrote the same story twice lmao)





	1. This Love

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I haven't written for this fandom before so I'm nervous lol
> 
> I really thought I would be posting about BokuAka before IwaOi but what can you do
> 
> Warning: There's assault and other tags but nothing too serious happens, and everyone is safe and alright at the end! But read at your own discretion! Also I swear a lot, in case you missed the tag!
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading~

Regardless of what Iwaizumi thought, Oikawa really didn’t sleep with _that_ many guys.

It sounded a little unbelievable as he reflected on this, since he was currently pushed against the wall in the back corner of the bar, pressed up against some guy he met not three minutes ago. He couldn’t even remember his name. 

Going out to bars was fun and so was meeting new people. It was exciting for Oikawa, and almost like a game, to see how many people he could convince to make out with him until he grew bored and sad when he was reminded that he wasn’t kissing the one person he actually wanted to. But really, making out with random strangers was the farthest he would go. Maybe he could handle a bit of grinding, if the person was attractive and aggressive enough and he was in a particular self-loathing mood. He was a tease and it didn’t matter to him.

Because the only reason he offered himself up so easily to people was because he was lonely and frustrated. There were only so many times you could stare at your best friend before he started to notice something was weird and this was the best solution he could come up with. 

Sometimes, Oikawa dragged Iwaizumi out to the bars or clubs with him. He complained a lot, but he always ended up accompanying him if Oikawa begged hard enough. Another thing he was proud of that he probably shouldn’t be – he could persuade his Iwa-chan to do almost anything. Almost.

Oikawa wasn’t even completely sure if Iwaizumi was actually gay. He thought he must have some interest, since he had been dragged to so many gay bars and didn’t look as if he was totally out of place. Oikawa was afraid to come out and ask though, because if he really was gay, then that meant Iwaizumi was simply not interested in dating _him_ , as opposed to being uninterested in dating the same sex. It was an important distinction.

In his childish way, Oikawa had hoped dragging Iwaizumi out with him and then openly flirting with almost anyone who sat beside him would be enough to make him jealous and profess his deep affections for him. That had yet to happen, and slowly, Iwaizumi had left Oikawa to his own devices and stopped accompanying him on his weekend endeavours.  


So, now he just went out alone, and came home drunk and ruffled to his annoyed roommate and best friend.

His mind was brought back to the present as the guy he was with dropped his hands to the waistband of Oikawa’s jeans. His back stiffened slightly and he really hoped he wasn’t going to have to tell his guy to stop. Bringing up the fact that he didn’t actually want to have sex usually sent his partners in the opposite direction, searching for someone who was willing. 

Oikawa drew the line as the guy’s fingers snaked under his shirt and began moving up his back. For some reason, skin on skin contact seemed too…intimate for him.  


Letting out a slight laugh, Oikawa gently pulled away from the guy, trying to put a little distance between them. “Sorry,” he sang out, trying to subtly readjust his shirt and remove the guy’s hands. “I’m not really down for this to go any farther.”

This was typically where they would grumble; sometimes people would curse at him for leading them on so much, or they’d simply shrug and walk away. He’d had the occasional hurtful comment thrown his way as well, but Oikawa was able to shake those off since he was aware of how problematic his actions were. He’d never had to deal with someone who didn’t listen to him before.

But this time, instead of backing off, the guy only increased his advance, his fingers tightening their hold on his hips. Oikawa froze as the guy’s mouth descended on his neck roughly, unsure of where to go from here. 

“Hey,” he said, trying to keep control of the situation. “I’m really not into this, I’m sorry. You’ll need to go find someone else.”

His words were ignored again, and he began to feel panic rise in him when he guy grinded aggressively into him.

“S-seriously,” Oikawa said, raising his voice and pushing against the man before him. “Get off me!”

“You don’t get to tease someone all night and then decide you don’t want it,” the guy growled in his ear, catching Oikawa’s hand and gripping his wrist tightly  


“Y-yes I do,” Oikawa spluttered. “I can change my mind any damn time I please, now get the f-"

He was cut off by the guy pressing his mouth to his, muffling his protests.

The back corner where they were currently situated was pretty blocked off from the rest of the bar, and with the loud atmosphere, it was unlikely that anyone would notice what was going on. Oikawa squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to figure a way out of this situation. He found himself desperately wishing Iwaizumi was around. He always was looking out for him and would probably come beat this guy up in a second. 

But Iwaizumi wasn’t here, which meant Oikawa had to get out of this on his own. When he felt the guy begin to fumble with the zipper of his jeans, Oikawa acted on instinct. Curling his fingers, he brought the hand that wasn’t being restrained up swiftly, scratching down the side of the guy’s face.

He cried out in pain swearing, and effectively loosened his grip, making it easier for Oikawa to slip out of it. Once he was free, he bolted to the bathroom, since it was closer than the exit. Soon after he locked the door behind him, he felt someone bang on the other side. 

He jumped, almost expecting the door to bust open and have the guy follow him to the bathroom, but the lock on the door held up and he sank to the floor in the corner, unaware of how badly he was shaking until he was sitting.

He was an idiot, he knew. He knew it was stupid to tease people this way, and while he knew what this guy did was not okay, it didn't stop Oikawa from feeling at least partly responsible. 

Oikawa wrapped his arms around himself in a lame attempt to stop his shaking. He felt tears begin to run down his face and he let them fall. He could still feel the guy’s hands on him, and as he glanced down at his wrist, he noticed it was beginning to discolour, likely showing the beginnings of bruises. 

A sick taste settled in his mouth as he buried his face in his arms that rest on his knees. His breathing was coming quickly and he forced himself to regain control. He wanted to leave. He was scared and he wanted to leave.

Hesitantly, he pulled out his phone and dialled the only person on this planet he wanted to talk to right now.

_“...It is two in the fucking morning.”_

Oikawa almost laughed at the grumpy voice that answered the phone, still heavy from sleep. The relief he felt at just hearing the sound of Iwaizumi’s voice was something Oikawa would never be able to explain. He hadn’t even said anything of comfort, he was being his usual grumpy self, but Oikawa instantly felt better, safer, knowing Iwaizumi was just a little bit closer to him.

_“Oi, what do you want shittykawa?”_

“I…” The sound that came out was so quiet he wasn’t sure Iwaizumi heard it. That was actually a good question. What did Oikawa want? Or, more accurately, what was appropriate for Oikawa to ask for? Was it ridiculous to ask him to come and get him, make sure he actually got out of the bar without being assaulted again? 

_“Hello? Oikawa?”_

Iwaizumi was less harsh now, concern beginning to creep into his voice. He rarely, if ever, called him 'Oikawa' when it was just them. 

“I… uhm…” Oikawa cursed his voice for being so shaky and his inability to get a damn sentence out. He must sound absolutely pathetic.

_“What’s wrong?”_

Iwaizumi’s voice was suddenly much more alert and there were slight shuffling sounds, indicating he sat up in his bed.

_“Fuck Tooru, answer me."_

Initially, Oikawa was planning on walking this whole ordeal off, making some sort of joke to ease the tension, but the blatant concern in Iwaizumi’s voice had him close to tears again for some reason and he was unable to bring himself to lie.

_“Are you okay? Tooru, are you hurt?”_

“I… I don’t know…” he whispered, unable to bring his voice to anything stronger as he buried his face in his free hand. 

_“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know?!”_ More shuffling. _“Where are you?”_

“The b-bar down the street from the universit-ty,” he stammered out. “Iwaizumi, please…”

_“Stay exactly where you are. I’m coming to get you.”_

He nodded but then remembered that Iwaizumi wouldn’t be able to see it. He mumbled “Okay” into the phone, but it had already hung up. Dropping his phone, Oikawa curled back in on himself and could feel more tears leaking out of his eyes. 

How pathetic, he thought bitterly. He could barely get a sentence out over the phone due to how panicked he was.

Oikawa gritted his teeth after this thought entered his mind. He had a right to be this upset, didn’t he? There’s nothing wrong with being shaken up after being assaulted…right? 

It felt like very little time had passed before Oikawa’s phone rang, Iwaizumi’s face lighting up the screen. Oikawa answered immediately.

_“Where are you?”_ Iwaizumi questioned the second the call connected, before Oikawa even had a chance to say anything.

“Bathroom,” he whispered. “B-but make sure there’s nobody else around.”

Iwaizumi was silent for a couple minutes before saying _“I’m alone. Open the door.”_

Hanging up the phone, Oikawa got to his feet and slowly opened the lock. It clicked loudly in the quiet bathroom and he took a couple steps back before the door opened and Iwaizumi stepped in. He was wearing pajama pants and a tight fitting t-shirt, his volleyball jacket thrown haphazardly on for warmth and Oikawa immediately felt bad for dragging him out of bed.

“Nice outfit,” he tried to joke, because he was unsure how else to acknowledge the situation. 

Oikawa felt almost nervous as he noticed Iwaizumi staring at him, his eyes raking over his body for any signs of harm. Oikawa jerked the sleeve of his sweater down over the bruises on his wrist, but he was unable to hide the marks the guy made on his neck. Iwaizumi’s eyes narrowed when they landed on them, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Are you okay,” Iwaizumi asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His voice was quieter than usual, but it still echoed through the bathroom.

Oikawa bit his lip and was about to shake his head before he changed his mind. “Can we not do this here,” he pleaded. “I just really want-"

“That’s fine,” Iwaizumi said, cutting him off and reaching his hand that wasn’t holding his keys out for Oikawa to take. “You can tell me at home.”

Shock ran through him at how kind and calm Iwaizumi was being, but Oikawa decided not to question it. He gratefully accepted the outstretched hand and felt much calmer as Iwaizumi’s fingers gripped his hand firmly. 

Iwaizumi led him through the bar, weaving through people who had a much more successful night than Oikawa did. He ended up catching eyes with the guy he was with earlier, and he quickly averted his gaze, shuffling closer to Iwaizumi. He seemed to notice, and with a hard look at the guy staring at the two of them, he led them out onto the street to his car. 

Opening the door for Oikawa to get in the passenger side required Iwaizumi to let go of Oikawa’s hand, and he found himself already desperately missing the physical contact. He was pathetic, wasn’t he? He slid into the car and Iwaizumi shut the door behind him before getting behind the wheel and pulling out of the lot. 

The ride back to their apartment was silent and short. Oikawa had curled up on the seat, leaned his head back against the window and closed his eyes, wishing that this was some sort of dream or drunken fantasy and that the events of the night never happened. Because his eyes were shut, he missed the way Iwaizumi appeared to be staring at him more than the road, and how tightly his hands gripped the steering wheel.

“Hey, we’re back.” Iwaizumi’s voice pulled Oikawa out of his dozing and he inhaled deeply before feeling the door open behind him. 

“You good,” Iwaizumi asked with a raised eyebrow, watching as Oikawa struggled briefly to unlock his seatbelt. He felt unsteady as he stood up for some reason, and he didn’t know if Iwaizumi noticed this or not, but he felt him take his hand again as he shut the door and locked the car. 

Tugging gently, Iwaizumi lead the way up the stairs to their apartment and opened the door. 

“Go get changed,” Iwaizumi said immediately after they crossed the threshold, dropping Oikawa’s hand. “You’re sweaty and smell like some gross cologne and alcohol.”

Oikawa stiffened at the idea that the guy’s cologne was stuck to his clothes and he made his way to his room with no comment. He quickly changed out of his clothes, desperate to be rid of them now that he was aware he still smelled like the guy from the bar. He pulled on a long sleeve t-shirt and pajama pants before slowly making his way outside his bedroom. 

Iwaizumi was seated on the couch, phone in hand but his eyes weren’t focused on the screen. Oikawa approached the couch slowly. While Iwaizumi had been a definite comfort and his saviour tonight, he was still acting weird, and Oikawa was unsure if that meant he was angry at him for calling him out of bed at 2 am to come get him. But despite that fear, Oikawa’s need for comfort was greater, so he settled himself down in the seat beside Iwaizumi.

They sat in silence until Iwaizumi spoke. “So, are you gonna tell me why I’m awake at 2 am to pick you up from a bar?”

Oikawa looked down and refused to meet his eyes, merely shrugging his shoulders. He would’ve been content to just sit in silence, the knowledge that Iwaizumi was next to him was enough to keep him relatively calm. But he knew Iwaizumi wanted to know what happened, and Oikawa knew that he should tell someone about it. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to start. The words wouldn’t make their way up his throat and he felt embarrassment turn his face red. 

“Tooru you’re shaking.”

He hadn’t even noticed he started shaking again and reflexively wrapped his arms around his middle, like he did in the bathroom. Iwaizumi shuffled out of his jacket and moved closer to drape it over Oikawa’s shoulders. He burrowed into the fabric, seeking warmth and comfort. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, pulling the jacket on properly. The concern on Iwaizumi’s face was evident, although he was fighting to hide it, and Oikawa was frustrated that he wasn’t able to string any words together. “For coming to get me.”

Iwaizumi shrugged like it was no big deal and he wasn’t super pissed off that he had been woken up. “Whatever. Are you okay though?”

“I didn’t know who else to call…” Oikawa said. He was hoping that the more he talked, the easier it would be to explain what happened. “I – I didn’t mean for you to have to come get me. I just…”

“It’s no problem,” Iwaizumi cut him off. He paused before awkwardly asking “Was it a good bar? Did… did you meet anybody?”

Oikawa closed his eyes and curled his hands into fists, his nails digging into his palms. _Alright. Here we go._

“There was one guy,” he whispered, not looking at Iwaizumi’s face. When he didn’t say anything, Oikawa continued. “He was fun and cute so you know. We were making out at the back of the bar…”

“Sounds fun,” Iwaizumi said when Oikawa paused, although his voice was tense.

“It was,” Oikawa said darkly. “…Until it wasn’t.”

Iwaizumi stiffened noticeably and his eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just… wasn’t into it anymore,” Oikawa mumbled. “S-so I told him that and he wasn’t very… ahh…accepting of it, I guess…”

Oikawa bit his lip, trying to force himself to explain more, to assure Iwaizumi that he really wasn't interested, that it wasn’t his fault.

“Did-did he _force himself on you?”_

Iwaizumi’s voice came out more like a growl, but Oikawa nodded, thankful Iwaizumi had said it, not him. He wasn't sure he'd be able to admit it. “Kind of…”

“What the fuck does ‘kind of’ mean,” he snapped, eyes burning with an anger that Oikawa didn’t think he’d ever seen before.

“H-he didn’t get far enough to… I stopped h-him before…. But he g-grabbed me,” Oikawa said, speaking faster now that he had started going, thoughts and explanations spilling out of his mouth in an attempt to make Iwaizumi _understand._ “He wouldn’t let go of my wrist and his fingers were up my shirt and unzipping my… and I didn’t – I didn’t want to go that far! But he had me trapped and – and I d-didn’t know who else to c-call!”

Iwaizumi abruptly stood up and stalked to the other side of the room. Oikawa winced at the sudden movement and he pulled Iwaizumi's jacket closer to him, feeling slightly abandoned, now sitting alone on the couch.

“Iwa-chan,” he tried after a minute, his voice wobbly as he was on the verge of tears. He tried clearing his throat, but his voice still sounded weak as he croaked out “I’m so sorry I had to wake you for this… I – I know I shouldn’t have called but I was just so sc-scared and –"

“Tooru, shut the fuck up.”

Oikawa fell into stunned silence, the harsh words and suppressed anger in Iwaizumi’s voice startling him. He was still using his first name, but he spoke aggressively. He couldn’t be that mad, could he? Dropping his head into his hands, Oikawa attempted to hide the fresh tears leaking out of his eyes. 

He heard Iwaizumi mutter another curse and suddenly there were hands resting on him. Oikawa knew it was Iwaizumi, but still couldn’t help himself from flinching at the unexpected contact. He hated himself for it once he looked up into his best friend’s face and saw him rip his hands away from him, as if Oikawa’s body burned him. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Iwaizumi apologized profusely. “I shouldn’t’ve… I’ll keep my hands off.” 

_Don’t,_ Oikawa thought desperately, annoyed with his body for reacting as if Iwaizumi was a threat to his safety.

“But, look, I’m not mad.”

Oikawa blinked slowly before narrowing his eyes. “You’re…not?”

“No,” Iwaizumi confirmed. “Not at you! Honestly, do you think I’m some sort of heartless monster, being angry that my best friend called me needing help?”

Biting at his lip, Oikawa shook his head slightly. He raised his hand to run it through his hair. “I guess not… But I mean it was sort of my fault, you know? I was...Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi had frozen on the couch, his eyes locked on the hand Oikawa still had tangled in his hair. “What is that,” he asked, harshly. 

Oikawa raised an eyebrow in confusion before bringing his hand down. He inhaled as he noticed his sleeve had shifted down, exposing the red and slightly darkening marks left by the guy’s fingers circling Oikawa’s wrist. “It’s…I told you he grabbed me.”

“I didn’t realize he actually left marks,” Iwaizumi growled. “I mean, ones that weren’t left by his mouth,” he clarified, eyes flickering to Oikawa’s neck and he felt his face heat up in embarrassment. Then Iwaizumi’s eyes narrowed in suspicion before saying “It was that blond guy.”

Oikawa felt his blood run cold at the accusing, angry tone of Iwaizumi’s voice. “Wh-what,” he fumbled over his question.

“When we were leaving. That blond guy was staring at you and you-” Iwaizumi cut himself off before abruptly standing from the couch again, this time moving towards the door.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said, sitting up straighter and reaching a hand out. “Wait, where are you going?”  


“I’m gonna go kick his ass,” Iwaizumi snapped.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you don’t even know who it was!” Oikawa was unsure why he was stopping Iwaizumi from going to confront the guy. Maybe he just didn’t want to be by himself right now, but another, admittedly larger, part of him really didn’t want Iwaizumi to get hurt on his behalf.

“He was blond.”

Oikawa snorted at the response. “Right of course, because there’s only one blond guy in the entire bar so you can find him no problem.”

“Well then, I’ll punch every fucking blond guy I see until I find the right one,” Iwaizumi snapped. “I really couldn’t care less.”

“You can’t just go around assaulting people,” Oikawa mumbled.

“The hell I can’t!” 

“Iwa-chan you need to calm down,” Oikawa snapped, growing frustrated with Iwaizumi’s violent need to hunt this guy down. “I was leading him on anyways, so I mean…”

“Listen,” Iwaizumi said, slowly and deliberately. “It wasn’t your fault." He turned away from the door and approached Oikawa again. "You changed your mind and he’s the asshole who decided to ignore that. This isn’t on you at all, alright?” 

“Yeah but if I hadn’t-"

“It’s not your fault Tooru!”

“But I was the one who-"

“It literally does not matter,” Iwaizumi argued, his voice rising in volume. 

Oikawa wasn’t sure why he was pushing on this issue, when he himself knew that what the guy had done was wrong. But he couldn’t help the part inside him that insisted it was his fault, and the more Iwaizumi yelled, the smaller that part got. 

“I don’t care what you did!” Iwaizumi exclaimed, continuing his rant and waving his hands frantically in the air. “Next time you go out to a shitty bar, I’m coming with you. That way you won’t have to worry about situations like that because I’ll be looking out for you!”

Oikawa let out a bitter laugh as he shook his head. “You won’t have to worry anymore Iwa-chan, because I just – I can’t do it anymore!”

“You can’t do _what_ anymore?”

“I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you!”

The silence that followed this proclamation was almost deafening and Oikawa wanted nothing more than to take the words back. But it was too late. Iwaizumi’s hands fell to his sides and he was staring at him with wide eyes, a clear indicator that he heard every word.

_Shit, shit shit shit **shit.**_

“You… what?”

Oikawa was unable to meet his stare and instead fixed his eyes on the carpet. He wracked his brain for anything, any excuse he could use that would make what he just said less awkward. But he came up with nothing. 

_This just isn’t my fucking night._

“I’m sorry,” was the only thing Oikawa could think to say. “I didn’t mean to say that, please don’t hate me, I just-”

“You didn’t mean to say that, or you didn’t mean what you said?”

Iwaizumi’s voice was softer than Oikawa expected, probably softer than he had ever heard before, and his question seemed odd. He felt his heart stutter in false hope, that maybe, just _maybe_ , he stood a chance.

“I didn’t mean to say it,” Oikawa said slowly, forcing himself to raise his eyes back up to Iwaizumi’s face. He was frustrated to find it very passive, with no other emotions aside from slight shock on his features. Well, this night had already been a disaster, so he might as well just tell him everything, right? Why not. “The bars... All the guys I meet… they’re just… a distraction.”

“From what,” Iwaizumi breathed. 

Oikawa sighed. This asshole was going to make him say it. “I like you, Hajime.” Oikawa felt slight satisfaction when Iwaizumi’s breath hitched at the use of his first name. “And the guys at the bars were just distractions from that.”

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi started, but Oikawa cut him off.

“No, it’s okay, I get it,” he said hastily. He couldn’t bear to hear Iwaizumi reject him, not tonight, not after he had shown so much concern for Oikawa's well-being and given him a little bit of hope, so he ploughed on. “I know it’s probably weird and maybe a little gross and I didn’t want you to find out this way, or at all, really.”

“Tooru.”

“But it kind of slipped out. And since you’re not gay or anything then I think we should probably just forget I said anything about it.”

_“Tooru.”_

“Yeah, forgetting about it wold probably be best, right? But I mean if it’s too weird or something then I can move out, not right away obviously, you’ll need to give me some time. Or maybe I can go live with someone from the volleyball team, Kuroo or Bokuto would probably let me.”

“Oi! Shittykawa!”

Iwaizumi’s outburst startled Oikawa into silence, and he promptly snapped his mouth shut, his fingers clenching into fists on his lap.

“Are you gonna let me fuckin talk or what?”

Oikawa bit his lip before nodding. “I guess. But please don’t be too mean!” He thought he sounded pathetic, asking Iwaizumi to let him down gently but he couldn't help himself.

“You’re the one who’s already making plans to move out of the damn apartment,” Iwaizumi snapped. “If you had shut up for a few seconds maybe I could’ve cleared things up before you started crying again.”

Reaching up to feel his face, Oikawa was surprised to find his cheeks wet yet again. _Damn,_ he thought. _What was this, the sixth time today?_ He froze as his own fingers were brushed aside by Iwaizumi's, who took up the responsibility of wiping away the tears.

“I’m into you too, you piece of trash.”

Oikawa blinked a solid eight times, ignoring the insult in favour of blurting out “Wait you’re WHAT?!”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “Don’t ask me why,” he grumbled out. “I must be losing my mind.”

“So mean Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said through a watery smile. “I know you don’t mean it though, don’t worry! I didn't know you were into guys! Why didn't you tell me sooner?!” 

Iwaizumi sighed and leaned back on the couch, a hand rubbing at his forehead. Oikawa grinned at his friend’s exasperation, but he slowly felt the smile slide from his face and the rush of happiness he felt quickly evaporated, leaving only a sick feeling behind. It almost seemed too good to be true that Iwaizumi returned his feelings. Was he just trying to make him feel better because of what happened tonight? Did he manipulate him into admitting something that wasn’t real?

“That’s a hell of an ugly face to be making after I told you something like that,” Iwaizumi commented, startling Oikawa out of his thoughts.

“Rude,” he mumbled in response, but the words lacked their usual feeling and Iwaizumi’s eyes narrowed slightly.

“What’s the problem?”

“You aren’t just saying that, right,” Oikawa was unable to stop himself from asking, staring intently at Iwaizumi. “You-you were serious, right? You weren’t just trying to make me feel better after the hellish day I had?”

It looked as though Iwaizumi was going to yell at him, but his mouth snapped shut at the last second and he tried again. He raised his arm away from his body and gave an awkward head jerk, beckoning Oikawa towards him. “Come here.”

Oikawa blinked before hastily moving forward, afraid if he didn’t move fast enough, Iwaizumi might change his mind. He curled into Iwaizumi’s side, whose arm came down around him, pulling him tightly into him. 

“Of course I’m not just saying that you dumbass,” Iwaizumi said, his voice rumbling in his chest under Oikawa’s ear. “I was so fucking scared when you called me earlier… It’s not like you to not ramble on to me when you call and I thought something really bad happened.”

“Sorry,” Oikawa mumbled, his fingers playing with the fabric of Iwaizumi’s shirt as he rested his head on his shoulder. “I didn’t want to wake you up or anything, but I was scared too and I didn’t know what to do.”

“I'm not asking for an apology,” Iwaizumi said firmly, his arm tightening slightly around Oikawa. “I'm just trying to show you that I seriously care...I should’ve gone out with you instead of just staying in bed.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes. “You couldn’t have known what was going to happen,” he assured. 

“I know,” Iwaizumi said, fidgeting slightly underneath Oikawa. “But I’ve always been worried something like this would happen.”

“Awwww Iwa-chan~” Oikawa grinned and glanced up to look at his face. “You worry about me? That’s so cute!”

“Shut up,” Iwaizumi snapped, his cheeks colouring red. “Of course I worry about you, because you clearly have horrible taste in men.” 

“You’re just taking shots at yourself now, since my taste in men is _you,_ ” Oikawa laughed. “Besides, I wasn’t ever really into any of the guys I met at the bar.”

“You weren’t,” Iwaizumi asked, his tone full of skepticism.

“Nope,” Oikawa hummed. “I was just trying to make you jealous.”

Iwaizumi jolted under him and spluttered out something unintelligible. “You were trying to do what?!”

“Make you jealous,” Oikawa said innocently. 

“Oh my God,” Iwaizumi mumbled, leaning his head back on the couch to stare up at the ceiling. “You’re the most ridiculous person on the planet.” 

“Maybe,” Oikawa sang out, unable to keep the grin off his face. “But it worked, riiiiight?” He punctuated his question with a wink.

“Alright,” Iwaizumi said gruffly, moving to stand up. “I’m already regretting this. I’m out.”

“Iwa-chan, no,” Oikawa whined, but he was laughing as he wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s waist, trying to hold him in place. “Don’t be so grumpy about everything! Stay here and cuddle me, you big meanie!”

He didn’t know if it was because he was hanging onto his body or if Iwaizumi actually wasn’t trying to leave, but he ended up dropping back on the couch, this time lying on his back and dragging Oikawa on top of him. 

“Maybe it worked a little bit,” Iwaizumi grumbled reluctantly. Oikawa’s face cracked into a wide smile as he snuggled himself closer into his best friend's (boyfriend's?) chest.

They fell into long and comfortable silence, Iwaizumi’s hand softly tracing patterns on Oikawa’s back. With the calming touch coupled with the steady presence of Iwaizumi beneath him, he felt his eyes begin to fall shut. 

It was baffling to Oikawa that just a couple hours ago he felt the most scared he had ever felt in his life, compared to now, where he probably felt the most at peace. Iwaizumi had always be a source of strength all throughout Oikawa’s life, but it was different now. It felt stronger, something that Oikawa had never believed possible. He had never been more thankful for having Iwaizumi in his life and he firmly believed that this night would have been a lot worse if he hadn’t come to pick him up.

“Hey, shittykawa,” Iwaizumi said softly and without any real irritation, nudging the man on top of him gently. 

Oikawa let out a grumble and nodded slightly without opening his eyes.

“Are you good,” Iwaizumi asked, his hands stopping their movements and pressing slightly harder on his back, turning the gentle caressing into something stronger and more supportive. 

“’M fine,” Oikawa answered, slightly puzzled at the question, but he also felt oddly happy at the apparent concern for his well-being. “Why?”

“I don’t know, you’re clutching my shirt pretty tightly and you got tense.”

“Oh,” Oikawa whispered, releasing his grip and forcing his body to relax. “Sorry I was just thinking about tonight.”

As he predicted, and also anticipated, Iwaizumi’s arms tightened protectively around him and Oikawa had to fight off the smile that threatened to break out on his face. 

“Stop apologizing,” Iwaizumi said sharply. “And stop thinking about tonight,” he added, softening his tone. “You’re safe now, alright?”

“That’s so sweet Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said. “Who knew you were so soft-hearted?”

“Why do you have to ruin everything,” Iwaizumi sighed in frustration. “I’m trying to be nice and romantic or whatever, and you’re fucking it up.”

Laughing loudly, Oikawa rose up on his elbows and pressed a chaste kiss to Iwaizumi’s cheek. He revelled in the look of shock that settled on his face. “Sorry _Hajime,_ ” he whispered. “I’ll try not to ruin anything from now on.”

“That’s impossible,” Iwaizumi said blankly, regaining his composure and reaching for Oikawa’s chin, pulling his face towards him and, this time, pressing their lips together. “We both know you’re always going to be a giant pain in my ass _Tooru._ ”

It was Oikawa’s turn to be shocked and Iwaizumi smirked before pressing his head back down onto his chest. “Now go to sleep you dumbass,” he said.

Unable to think of a witty response, Oikawa let himself be guided back down and was soon being pulled back into sleep by Iwaizumi’s gentle hands. 

This. This was what he'd been waiting for. As Iwaizumi brushed his mouth over his forehead, Oikawa fully let his guard down and allowed himself to drift off in a safe pair of arms. 


	2. Real Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends
> 
> Just a heads up - this is literally the exact same story and dialogue as the first chapter lmfao but I couldn't decide if I liked it in Oikawa or Iwaizumi's perspective more so I wrote both.... lol so you can read both of them or just this one or just chapter 1 - whatever !
> 
> This one was fun though because I think you get to see Iwa as a little more protective and that was something a lot of people liked about the first one so 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

He wasn’t sleeping deeply, although he wished he were. He had an early class and sitting through it was unbearable if he didn’t get enough sleep. Whoever thought 8 am classes were a good idea on a Monday should be punched in the face. But it was a habit he had, slipping in and out of consciousness as opposed to actually sleeping soundly until his stupid roommate finally got back to the apartment. 

The shrill sound of his phone sounded, cutting through the still silence of Iwaizumi’s bedroom; or, the silence of the whole apartment actually - it was always much quieter when Iwaizumi was alone in the flat. His phone was set at full volume, with the loudest possible ringtone he could possibly find, so that he was assured he would wake up if he got a call.

Not that Oikawa ever called him for anything worthwhile. Usually he was just bored and drunk, talking Iwaizumi’s ear off about whatever stupid topic he could come up with that definitely could have waited until he was home and sober. Sometimes he even let Iwaizumi talk to the new guy that he picked up at the bar; there was absolutely nothing that pissed Iwaizumi off more than that and he always quickly ended those conversations, tossing his phone away from him in irritation. 

Even still, Iwaizumi wanted his phone on, just on the off chance that Oikawa needed him. It was a long shot, because Oikawa had never really needed him, but it was better to be safe than sorry. 

Letting out an agitated sigh, Iwaizumi reached over on his bedside table to answer the phone, not even bothering to open his eyes and check who was calling.

“It is two in the fucking morning,” he grumbled out in feigned annoyance. Well, it wasn’t all fake but he knew Oikawa generally thought his grumpy attitude was funny, especially when he was drunk, and Iwaizumi always found some sort in satisfaction at being able to make him laugh when he was on a date with someone else. 

When Oikawa didn’t respond, Iwaizumi gritted his teeth. _If he ass dialled me while he’s making out with someone I swear I’m gonna kill him,_ Iwaizumi thought savagely.

“Oi, what do you want Shittykawa?” he grumbled louder, trying to catch Oikawa’s attention.

_“I…”_

Iwaizumi frowned as he opened his eyes, pushing the phone harder against his ear as he tried to make out any sound coming from the receiver. He thought he had heard something but now he only heard shallow breathing. That wasn’t right. Oikawa was at a bar, which meant that the background noises should be loud. There’s no way Iwaizumi should be able to hear his breathing.

“Hello?” He asked slowly. “Oikawa?” He was unable to bring himself to call his best friend by any of his rude nicknames due to the worry that was filling him.

_“I… uhm…”_

Iwaizumi shot up in his bed, ripping the charger that was in his phone out as he did so. He didn’t pay any attention to it. “What’s wrong?” he demanded, unable to keep the urgency out of his voice. If Oikawa was playing some kind of game, he was fucking over it. “Fuck Tooru, answer me.”

When he still got no response, Iwaizumi almost screamed into his phone. _This is so unlike you_ he thought worriedly as he asked the one question that was burning in his mind. “Are you okay? Tooru, are you hurt?”

_“I… I don’t know…”_ came the shaky reply.

“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know?!” Relief washed through him so powerfully after hearing Oikawa finally respond that he almost dropped his phone, only to be replaced with absolute panic as Oikawa’s answer sunk in. Jumping out of his bed, Iwaizumi grabbed his volleyball jacket and quickly pulled it on, exiting his bedroom and grabbing his keys from off the table. “Where are you?”

_“The b-bar down the street from the university-ty. Iwaizumi, please…”_

Ignoring the painful clenching of his heart at Oikawa’s stutter and plea, Iwaizumi forced himself to give some reassurance as he whipped open the front door and left without bothering to lock it. “Stay exactly where you are,” he demanded as he took the stairs two at a time and headed towards the parking lot to his car. “I’m coming to get you.”

He didn’t wait for a reply as he hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket, jumping behind the wheel of his car. He wished he could stay on the phone with Oikawa, maybe to just assure him that whatever the fuck is going on is okay and over, but he knew that he would be incredibly distracted and would most likely end up causing an accident. That wouldn’t do either of them any good so Iwaizumi settled for driving a little faster than necessary instead of breaking the law by being on his phone.

As he got halfway to the bar Iwaizumi began to feel slightly nervous. Oikawa hadn’t actually asked him to come pick him up and he hadn’t waited for his response either, hanging up before he got one. Maybe he’s just making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe tonight Oikawa’s decided to be an emotional drunk instead of an insufferably annoying one. 

“No fucking way,” Iwaizumi grumbled out loud to himself. “No, he sounded god damn scared and I’m picking his ass up regardless.”

As he reached the bar he was able to find a parking space relatively close to the doors. Jumping out, he made his way to the building, clutching his phone as he entered.

Inside was hot, dark, and loud. There were people everywhere – why everyone was out at a bar on a Sunday night, he wouldn’t understand. _Don’t any of you idiots have a class tomorrow?_

After maybe thirty seconds of shoving past bodies, Iwaizumi scoffed, reaching down for his phone and punching Oikawa’s number in. This would be easier.

“Where are you?” he snapped as soon as he heard the call connect. 

_“Bathroom,”_ Oikawa answered and Iwaizumi immediately began making his way over to the back of the bar. _“B-but make sure there’s nobody else around.”_

Iwaizumi frowned. That was a weird request but he didn’t comment on it. He turned down a small hallway and found the men’s washroom, the surroudning area completely vacated. “I’m alone. Open the door.”

The call disconnected and Iwaizumi pocketed his phone just as he heard the lock on the door click, indicating Oikawa had opened it. Checking over his shoulder once more to make sure there was nobody around, he pushed the door open and entered the room.

“Nice outfit,” Oikawa commented as the door fell shut behind him. Iwaizumi held back his reply of _Well you dragged me out of bed at ass o’clock in the morning, what did you expect? A suit and tie?_

As Iwaizumi gave Oikawa a once over, he realized that he might have overreacted just a little bit. The guy looked fine, save for his clothes being rumpled a bit but Iwaizumi assumed that was due to the same reason that Oikawa was sporting a couple brightly coloured hickies across his pale throat. Iwaizumi was unable to help himself from glaring at them. 

“Are you okay?” he asked as he crossed his arms, just to have Oikawa himself confirm that he was, in fact, alright. He knew Oikawa was good at putting on a brave face and the panicked voice he heard earlier on the phone did not match this calm man standing in front of him, so he still felt the need to ask.

“Can we not do this here?” Oikawa asked, surprising Iwaizumi by not answering with _“Everything is fine Iwa-chan!”_ like he had expected. “I just really want –”

“That’s fine, you can tell me at home,” Iwaizumi cut him off. He didn’t like the fact that Oikawa wasn’t assuring him he was alright and some of the unease from earlier came rushing back. He held out his hand for Oikawa to take because honestly, at this point, he just wanted this idiot close to him.

Suppressing the random urge to grin as Oikawa slipped his fingers in between Iwaizumi’s, he left the bathroom and dragged his friend after him. 

Weaving his way through the crowd of people towards the front doors was a hassle and the amount of bodies that bumped into him were starting to piss him off. He felt a presence very close to him and he turned to tell that person to kindly back the fuck off, before he realized that it was Oikawa inching closer to him. Looking up, he noticed some blond idiot’s eyes were locked on them. He sent a glare over to deter the man from approaching them as he tugged his friend the rest of the way through the bar.

When they finally reached his car, Iwaizumi opened the door for Oikawa and had to stop himself from just shoving him into the car, he was moving so damn slow. When he finally got settled, he shut the door himself so he knew it would be done properly. Something about Oikawa was _off_ and it was staring to really stress him out.

Jumping in the driver’s seat, Iwaizumi had to refrain from throwing the car in reverse and speeding home. Oikawa was very quiet on the ride back. He kept his eyes closed and looked as though he had fallen asleep against the window. Every now and then, Iwaizumi opened his mouth to ask what the fuck happened but he stopped himself every time and only clenched the steering wheel tighter. 

“Hey, we’re back,” Iwaizumi said loudly to catch Oikawa’s attention once he pulled into his parking spot at the apartment. He didn’t wait for a response as he got out to open the passenger door. To his slight disappointment, Oikawa didn’t come tumbling out like he thought he would. Iwaizumi had hoped that maybe falling on his ass would snap him out of this quiet mood.

“You good?” he asked as he watched his friend struggle with the simple task of unlocking his seatbelt. _What the hell is his problem?_ Iwaizumi thought, grabbing his hand without thinking about it and dragging him up the stairs to their apartment.

He probably should’ve been happy to be home; it should have brought some sort of relief but Iwaizumi didn’t feel it. It was way too late for him to be awake and he mentally calculated that his class started in roughly five hours. Since he doubted that he would be falling asleep anytime soon, he sighed.

“Go get changed,” Iwaizumi instructed once they entered the apartment. “You’re sweaty and smell like some gross cologne and alcohol.” It really wasn’t the most important thing that needed to be done right this second but as he opened the door to their apartment, the breeze caused by it made the smell of someone else coming off Oikawa annoying and if he was going to have a serious talk with Oikawa, he didn’t want to have to smell somebody else’s cologne on him. 

As Oikawa turned to go to his room to change, Iwaizumi made his way to the couch. He pulled out his phone but since it was so late, there wasn’t much activity on his social media. He was too busy thinking about the smell of that cologne to pay attention anyways, his thumb scrolling through his timeline absently. If Oikawa had been close enough to a guy tonight to have his cologne practically imprinted on him, where the hell was he?

Iwaizumi wondered if his frustration showed on his face because when Oikawa padded back into the room, he looked hesitant about coming to sit on the couch. Eventually, he did make his way over, settling into the seat next to Iwaizumi. With raised eyebrows, Iwaizumi tried to get his friend to start talking. It was difficult though, since Oikawa wouldn’t look at him. Suppressing his sigh, Iwaizumi spoke instead. “So, are you gonna tell me why I’m awake at 2 am to pick you up?”

His question was loud in the silence of the room and Iwaizumi wondered if he was scaring Oikawa, since he responded with only a shrug. He opened his mouth to say something else, maybe something comforting or reassuring until he noticed the trembling.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi mumbled, trying his best to keep his concern and shock out of his voice, lest he make Oikawa panic even more. “You’re shaking.”

As Oikawa’s arms wrapped around himself protectively, Iwaizumi bristled. It was a small sign of weakness and Iwaizumi hated seeing that come from Oikawa. At a loss of what he could do to help, Iwaizumi removed his jacket and threw it over Oikawa’s shoulders, hoping that maybe he was just shaking from being cold.

Iwaizumi watched as he threaded his arms through the jacket to wear it properly while he whispered “Thank you for coming to get me.” 

_Idiot. Coming to get you is not, and will never be, an issue._

He shrugged. “Whatever. You okay, though?” he asked, frustrated that the one question he wanted answered, Oikawa seemed to be avoiding. He narrowed his eyes in concentration, glancing over Oikawa’s body again to look for any sign of injury. 

“I didn’t know who else to call,” Oikawa mumbled. “I – I didn’t mean for you to have to come get me. I just…”

“It’s no problem,” Iwaizumi assured, wondering what he could do to make his loser of a friend understand that he was telling the truth. He would always come pick him up, no matter the circumstances -- did he not know that? But if Oikawa wasn’t going to volunteer any information then Iwaizumi would have to pull it out of him. 

“Was it a good bar?” he asked and almost flinched at how awkward his question sounded. “Did… did you meet anybody?” Although he always dreaded the answer to this question, he thought it would be a good starting point.

“There was one guy.” Iwaizumi almost blurted out _of course there was_ but something in Oikawa’s tense posture stopped him. “He was fun and cute so you know. We were making out at the back of the bar.”

Ignoring the sharp image of Oikawa kissing somebody else that manifested so rudely in his mind, Iwaizumi forced himself to say “Sounds fun.” He hoped his voice sounded normal and not choked up with emotion.

“It was… until it wasn’t.”

These words had a profound effect on Iwaizumi and he felt himself tense up instinctively. He didn’t like this way of cryptic story telling that Oikawa seemed determined to use. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just… wasn’t into it anymore. S-so I told him that and he wasn’t very… ahh…accepting of it, I guess.”

Another cryptic explanation but in this case there was really no way for Iwaizumi to misunderstand. Even still, he needed to know for sure before he absolutely lost his shit.

“Did-did he _force himself on you?”_ Gods, he could hardly get the words out without gagging. His voice came out low but he barely noticed. His entire focus was on Oikawa, looking for any sign to tell him if he wasn’t telling him the whole story. 

“Kind of…”

_Did he force himself on you? Kind of. Kind of. Kind of._ The words echoed in his mind and it was a miracle he didn’t scream. _Kind of._ Gods, that meant yes, because Oikawa would have been quick to deny it if it was any other situation. Somebody at that shitty bar had the fucking _nerve_ to… 

Iwaizumi was torn between demanding to know every detail of what happened, to know if he was overreacting, and being so sick at the thought that he couldn’t bear to hear even the smallest detail. The question that ended up spilling out of his mouth was an inconsiderately phrased “What the fuck does of ‘kind of’ mean?”

“H-he didn’t get far enough to… I stopped h-him before…” Oikawa was stuttering and Iwaizumi felt like the biggest asshole in the world for making him relive this to someone who was absolutely and obviously seething with anger. What Oikawa probably needed was someone more supportive, like Sugawara.

“But he g-grabbed me,” Oikawa continued and Iwaizumi really just wanted to ask him to _please stop I don’t want to hear it._ “He wouldn’t let go of my wrist and his fingers were up my shirt and unzipping my… and I didn’t – I didn’t want to go that far! But he had me trapped and – and I d-didn’t know who else to c-call!”

What Iwaizumi wanted more than anything was to offer his best friend comfort. To say something like _You can always call me_ or _it’s okay it’s over now._ But Iwaizumi was the opposite of tactful and instead he stood from the couch and walked to the other side of the room. He could barely even stand to look at the fear that was still swimming in Oikawa’s eyes.

“Iwa-chan,” he heard from behind him. He gritted his teeth at how Oikawa sounded close to tears. “I’m so sorry I had to wake you for this… I – I know I shouldn’t have called but I was just so sc-scared and –”

“Tooru, shut the fuck up,” Iwaizumi growled out. If he had to hear Oikawa say how scared he was one more time, he was really going to lose his mind. He hadn’t felt an anger like this before. Anger at the fucker that thought he was good enough to even go near Oikawa, let alone put his hands on him. Anger at Oikawa, for believing that Iwaizumi cared so little for the person who had been his best friend for years. But mainly, anger at himself, for not going out with Oikawa to these dumbass bars, if only for the reason to keep an eye on him.

It was only after he heard the tell-tale sniffle from Oikawa that Iwaizumi realized his words were actually rather harsh and Oikawa wouldn’t understand that most of the malice behind them were directed towards Iwaizumi himself. “Shit,” he muttered as he moved over to rest a gentle hand on Oikawa’s shoulder to gain his attention.

He regretted the movement instantly as Oikawa flinched so violently and his eyes snapped up to look at him in utter fear. Iwaizumi immediately retracted his hands, feeling disgusted with himself for causing that particular look in Oikawa’s eyes.

“Sorry, sorry,” he repeated, knowing that the stupid little word could never even begin to express how sorry he actually was. “I shouldn’t’ve… I’ll keep my hands off,” he assured, wanting Oikawa to know that he didn’t intentionally try to make him feel uncomfortable.

When Oikawa didn’t look comforted in the least, Iwaizumi sighed. “But, look, I’m not mad.”

Oikawa blinked and looked like he didn’t believe him at all. “You’re… not?” he asked skeptically.

If it were any other time, Iwaizumi would have punched him. “No. Not at you! Honestly, do you think I’m some sort of heartless monster, being angry that my best friend called me needing help?” Iwaizumi hoped he didn’t sound too wounded when he asked the question – the focus was on Oikawa, not his shitty feelings. 

“I guess not,” was Oikawa’s answer, and he said some other stuff after that too. But Iwaizumi’s attention had been drawn to the hand that was now carding through Oikawa’s hair and the dark marks, that looked suspiciously like fingerprints, that circled it.

“What is that?” he snapped, glaring at the offending marks.

He watched as Oikawa looked confused and then noticed his bruises were now basically on display to a very angry Iwaizumi. “It’s… I told you he grabbed me.”

“I didn’t realize he actually left marks.” For some reason, seeing this sign of physical violence really cemented everything that Oikawa had told him. Not that he didn’t believe him earlier but it was just different seeing it. “I mean, ones that weren’t left by his mouth,” Iwaizumi added bitterly, glaring at the offending bruises on Oikawa’s throat. It bothered him that there was evidence of their make out session before it went to shit.

Iwaizumi’s mind flashed back to every guy’s face that he saw in the bar that night, thinking that it could have been any one of them. Suddenly, something clicked.

“It was that blond guy.”

From the way Oikawa stiffened on the couch, Iwaizumi knew he was right. “Wh-what?” Oikawa stuttered out. 

“When we were leaving,” he explained anyways. “That blond guy was staring at you and you –” Iwaizumi cut himself off. _You shifted closer to me and I got annoyed by it_ he finished the thought in his head. The urge to confront this guy was suddenly overwhelming and he shot up to his feet again, moving towards the door. 

“Iwa-chan. Wait, where are you going?” Oikawa asked as he extended his arm out a little bit. As much as Iwaizumi wanted to stay, to move back into his reach, he was beyond pissed and he needed to let some of this anger go before he caused Oikawa even more pain.

“I’m gonna go kick his ass,” he told him, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you don’t even know who it was!”

Iwaizumi tried not to be annoyed at the fact that Oikawa was right. “He was blond,” he stated lamely.

“Right of course, because there’s only one blond guy in the entire bar so you can find him no problem.” 

“Well then, I’ll punch every fucking blond guy I see until I find the right one!” Iwaizumi was frustrated that Oikawa had made a good point, but he wasn’t about to admit it.

There really wasn’t much Oikawa could say that would get him to change his mind. “I really couldn’t care less.”

“You can’t just go around assaulting people,” Oikawa pointed out.

Iwaizumi scoffed. “The hell I can’t!” The fact that Oikawa didn’t seem to grasp how incredibly angry Iwaizumi was over this was baffling. Even if he didn’t have such a major crush on him, there was no way he was about to let anyone get away with this kind of shitty behaviour to his best friend. 

“Iwa-chan you need to calm down,” Oikawa snapped, bringing Iwaizumi’s attention back to him. He was about to open his mouth and protest when Oikawa continued. “I was leading him on anyways, so I mean…”

He trailed off looking guilty and Iwaizumi didn’t think he could be any angrier, and yet here he was. 

“Listen,” Iwaizumi said, his voice low. As much as he wanted to go and kick this guy’s ass, it was much more important for him to make Oikawa understand that “It wasn’t your fault.” 

Oikawa looked skeptical as he approached him on the couch. “You changed your mind and he’s the asshole who decided to ignore that. This isn’t on you at all, alright?”

He didn’t look convinced. “Yeah but if I hadn’t –”

“It’s not your fault Tooru!” Iwaizumi exclaimed, maybe a little bit louder than necessary but he was determined to stop Oikawa’s train of thought before it got out of control. 

“But I was the one who –”

“It literally does not matter,” Iwaizumi argued. “I don’t care what you did! Next time you go out to a shitty bar, I’m coming with you. That way you won’t have to worry about situations like that because I’ll be looking out for you!” 

He didn’t exactly mean to say that part out loud and Iwaizumi was worried that he had been a little too dramatic. He was serious though; there was no way he would turn down Oikawa's invitation to go out to a bar, no matter what time he had class the next day.

Oikawa’s laugh took him by surprise as he said “You won’t have to worry anymore Iwa-chan, because I just – I can’t do this anymore!”

It seemed like half of Oikawa’s thought was stuck in his head because Iwaizumi was confused about what the hell he was talking about. “You can’t do _what_ anymore?” he asked.

“I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you!”

Iwaizumi was unsure what he expected Oikawa to say but it was not even remotely close to that. His hands fell limply to his sides as his brain tried to process what the hell just happened.

“You… what?” he asked lamely, unable to string more words together.

Oikawa, for his part, looked like he was in an incredible amount of pain. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that, please don’t hate me, I just –” 

“You didn’t mean to say that, or you didn’t mean what you said?” Iwaizumi asked, cutting off Oikawa’s rant before he could fuck this up. But Iwaizumi had to make sure, had to clarify what exactly his best friend had just confessed. The words were sitting just on the tip of his tongue but he had to be absolutely sure he didn’t misunderstand.

“I didn’t mean to say it,” Oikawa answered slowly. His eyes finally met Iwaizumi’s and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “The bars… All the guys I meet… they’re just… a distraction.”

“From what?” Iwaizumi asked, not sure he even had control over himself anymore.

To his surprise, Oikawa’s eyes narrowed in a slight glare and he would have laughed at the expression if he wasn’t so stunned. “I like you Hajime.” Iwaizumi started and cursed himself for being effected at Oikawa using his name. “And the guys at the bars were just distractions from that.”

“Tooru,” he said slowly, but was quickly cut off by Oikawa’s ranting.

“No it’s okay, I get it,” he insisted. _No,_ Iwaizumi thought. _No, you really don’t get it._

“I know it’s probably weird and maybe a little gross and I didn’t want you to find out this way, or at all, really.”

“Tooru,” he tried again, almost laughing. He thought Iwaizumi would think it was gross that he liked him? The idea was ludicrous.

“But it kind of slipped out. And since you’re not gay or anything then I think we should probably just forget I said anything about it.”

_“Tooru,”_ Iwaizumi started in disbelief. He thought he was straight? 

“Yeah, forgetting about it would probably be best, right? But I mean if it’s too weird or something then I can move out. Not right away obviously, you’ll need to give me some time. Or maybe I can go live with someone from the volleyball team, Kuroo or Bokuto would probably let me.”

The suggestion of Oikawa moving out, of living with people as annoying and ridiculous as Kuroo and Bokuto instead of him, is what prompted Iwaizumi to take control of the situation the best way he knew how. 

“Oi! Shittykawa!” he yelled, finally getting Oikawa’s attention to rest back on him. “Are you gonna let me fuckin' talk or what?”

“I guess. But please don’t be too mean!” he pleaded and his eyes looked so damn sad. Iwaizumi frowned as a couple tears escaped and fell down his cheeks. Did he seriously think he was SUCH an asshole?

“You’re the one who’s already making plans to move out of the damn apartment,” Iwaizumi snapped, unable to keep his irritation hidden. “If you had shut up for a few seconds maybe I could’ve cleared things up before you started crying again.”

It bothered him, the amount of times that Oikawa had cried tonight and the last thing Iwaizumi wanted was to be a reason for it. He brushed Oikawa’s hands away from his face and wiped the tears off himself. It was only fair, since it was his fault this time.

“I’m into you too, you piece of trash,” was apparently the most affectionate way Iwaizumi could think of to express his feelings. 

He desperately wanted to turn back time and redo that confession because dammit Oikawa deserved so much better than that. However, he apparently still got his point across as Oikawa screeched “Wait you’re WHAT?!”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at the dramatics. “Don’t ask me why, I must be losing my mind.”

“So mean Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said and Iwaizumi felt better at the return to normalcy, the stupid nickname washing over him, drenching him in affection. “I know you don’t mean it though, don’t worry! I didn’t know you were into guys! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

Instead of answering _Because I was absolutely terrified of your reaction,_ Iwaizumi let himself fall back into the couch. He expected Oikawa to keep talking, so he was taken by surprise when he was met with only silence. Cracking an eye open, he frowned at the unsettled look that had replaced Oikawa’s happy grin.

“That’s a hell of an ugly face to be making after I told you something like that,” he said, bringing Oikawa’s attention back to him. He didn’t like that look; it made him feel as though he did something to upset Oikawa, and he hated that feeling.

“Rude,” Oikawa returned, but it was obvious that his heart wasn’t into the bickering, which meant that there was something wrong.

“What’s the problem?” Iwaizumi asked, hoping his tone didn’t convey how worried he was.

“You aren’t just saying that, right? You-you were serious right? You weren’t just trying to make me feel better after the hellish day I had?”

Initially, Iwaizumi was pissed at the accusation. Did he look like the type of person that would fuck around with someone’s feelings like that? Is that what Oikawa thought of him?

But he didn’t want to argue, and he knew that most of this questioning came from Oikawa’s irritating habit of doubting himself and his worth. So instead of yelling at him like he had originally intended, he lifted his arm to make room for him at his side. “Come here.”

Oikawa looked shocked as hell but he crawled forward so eagerly that Iwaizumi couldn’t help but pull him close to his side. Something inside him relaxed and couldn’t help but notice how perfectly Oikawa fit to his side. 

“Of course I’m not just saying that you dumbass,” Iwaizumi said, continuing their conversation as he admitted “I was so fucking scared when you called me earlier… It’s not like you to not ramble on to me when you call and I thought something really bad happened.”

Well, something really bad did happen, Iwaizumi supposed, but the damage was not so serious that Oikawa wouldn’t recover. 

“Sorry,” Oikawa mumbled and Iwaizumi had to force himself to listen to the words he was speaking and ignore the feel of his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. “I didn’t want to wake you up or anything, but I was scared too and I didn’t know what to do.”

Iwaizumi tightened his grip on Oikawa, irritated that he had felt so scared but grateful that he was finally able to do something to offer comfort. “I’m not asking for an apology.” _Apologizing for this is stupid anyways._ “I’m just trying to show you that I seriously care… I should’ve gone out with you instead of just staying in bed.” Iwaizumi was unable to keep the last part to himself, still frustrated that he had the ability to stop this from happening but he thought getting some sleep was more important. 

“You couldn’t have known what was going to happen,” Oikawa assured. 

“I know,” Iwaizumi answered, even though he was wrong. He should’ve known and he should’ve been there. “But I’ve always been worried something like this would happen.” And he wasn’t lying. Oikawa was too damn attractive for his own good and if Iwaizumi could see it, then other people could definitely see it.

“Awwww Iwa-chan~” Oikawa sang out and he twisted to look at him. “You worry about me? That’s so cute!”

“Shut up,” Iwaizumi snapped immediately, hoping his blush wasn’t too noticeable. “Of course I worry about you, because you clearly have horrible taste in men.” _Of course I worry about you, you’re too important to me._

Oikawa laughed and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but grin. “You’re just taking shots at yourself now, since my taste in men is _you._ ” Iwaizumi tried not to be affected by that proclamation. Then Oikawa added “Besides, I wasn’t ever really into any of the guys I met at the bar.”

_Bullshit._ “You weren’t?”

“Nope,” Oikawa answered, his tone light and flirty. “I was just trying to make you jealous."

“You were trying to do what?!” It was annoying because it pretty much worked. Even though Iwaizumi wasn’t the first one to confess.

“Make you jealous,” Oikawa repeated, grinning at him.

“Oh my God,” Iwaizumi grumbled. He wanted to take his arm off Oikawa, punish him for being such a shit, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, so he settled for an insult. “You’re the most ridiculous person on the planet.”

“Maybe. But it worked, riiiiight?” he asked with a wink.

“Alright, I’m already regretting this. I’m out,” Iwaizumi grumbled. He wasn’t going to just sit there and let this moron tease him.

“Iwa-chan, no,” Oikawa immediately protested, laughing as he wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s waist as he tried to keep him on the couch. “Don’t be so grumpy about everything! Stay here and cuddle me, you big meanie!” 

As much as he wanted to show Oikawa that he didn’t want to sit there and listen to his teasing, who was he to refuse a request like that? Especially when it was the first time Iwaizumi had heard him laugh all night. Sighing, he dropped back onto the couch, pulling Oikawa over so he was now lying on his chest. 

“Maybe it worked a little bit,” Iwaizumi admitted, glancing pointedly at their position on the couch. When he caught Oikawa’s smile as he burrowed into Iwaizumi’s chest, he couldn’t help one of his own.

Oikawa was quiet for a long while and Iwaizumi had thought he had fallen asleep. _Probably for the best_ he thought as he shifted slightly to be more comfortable. Maybe he himself could catch a couple hours of sleep before his class. Or maybe he could just sleep through his class and as his hands traced gently over Oikawa’s back, he figured that that was what was most likely to happen. The only thing pulling him out of this position was if the apartment caught fire.

It was then Oikawa tensed in his arms, putting Iwaizumi on guard. He was at a slight loss of what to do, debating between just letting him sleep or waking him up. When his fingers curled tightly into the fabric of his shirt, Iwaizumi decided he’d try waking him.

“Hey, Shittykawa,” he murmured, shaking him very slightly.

Oikawa grumbled out a noise of question but that was the only reaction Iwaizumi got.

“Are you good?” he asked, slightly worried and he pressed his hands harder into Oikawa’s back, checking for shaking or any other sign of discomfort.

“’M fine,” the man on top of him mumbled sleepily. “Why?”

“I don’t know” Iwaizumi muttered, at little embarrassed at his protective reaction. “You’re clutching my shirt pretty tightly and you got tense.” 

“Oh sorry,” Oikawa said and Iwaizumi felt his body relax against him again. “I was just thinking about tonight.”

_Well stop it,_ Iwaizumi wanted to snap. He himself was trying to avoid thinking about tonight and it bothered him that Oikawa was dwelling on it when he was so clearly safe with him. His arms tightened on their own, clutching his body closer as if to try and reassure him that it was all okay now.

“Stop apologizing and stop thinking about tonight,” Iwaizumi bit out. “You’re safe now, alright?”

“That’s so sweet Iwa-chan. Who knew you were so soft-hearted?”

It took all of Iwaizumi’s self-control not to dump him on the floor.

“Why do you have to ruin everything?” he asked in frustration. “I’m trying to be nice and romantic or whatever, and you’re fucking it up.” 

His comment caused Oikawa to laugh loudly and Iwaizumi had to suppress his smile as Oikawa rose up on his elbows to kiss his cheek. “Sorry _Hajime_ ,” he whispered, grinning at the stunned look that was most certainly on Iwaizumi’s face. “I’ll try not to ruin anything from now on.”

It took a second for Iwaizumi to regain his composure but he sure as hell wasn’t letting Oikawa win this round. “That’s impossible,” he countered as he grasped his chin, pulling his face forward to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. “We both know you’re always going to be a giant pain in my ass _Tooru_.”

Smirking at the look of shock that was clearly more dramatic than his own, Iwaizumi gently pressed his head back to his chest. “Now go to sleep you dumbass.”

Satisfied when Oikawa actually listened to him and rested back on his chest, Iwaizumi couldn’t stop his smile.

Yeah, definitely not going to class tomorrow, he thought as his hands returned to their comforting tracing on Oikawa’s back. Only when he was sure Oikawa was actually asleep did he let his own eyes fall shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk man they're just real cute 
> 
> <3
> 
> Edit: Omg I've had such amazing support for this story wowow I didn't expect that  
> Thank you so so much to each of you who's been kind enough to leave me a comment or give a kudos - I appreciate it so much and I know a lot of you are also great authors so it means a lot that you enjoyed this!  
> Thanks again friends - until next time <3

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Oikawa, feeling like he brought that on himself  
> Just an obvious point - assault is not ever the victim's fault, just like in this story, it was 100% not Oikawa's fault, regardless of how he was acting earlier 
> 
> <3
> 
> Edit: Is anyone interested in a companion piece that shows you Iwa's perspective orrrrrr? Just me? Maybe?


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